I'm finally getting back to my story about how we ended up on the road that ultimately led us to Turkey. This is where I left off last fall before we traveled out of the country. Not to be confused, this is a recount of my experiences with PNE and our adventures along the way to try and help find a way out of this medical crisis that I had unfortunately found myself in.
December 2011, had finally come, I am feeling very excited to go to Phoenix, as this would be the first time I would be able to talk to a specialist who finally knows a thing or two about PNE. I had called my doctor a few days before to ask for something to help with the sitting pain during the flight to Phoenix. They called in some Valium, this would be the first time I would have to sit for longer than I could tolerate, and I was very nervous about this. The flight seemed to go fast, and the Valium really helped me to relax, overall it went much better than I had anticipated.
One of the perks of flying to Phoenix, was that my husband has two cousins that live in Arizona.We called to let one of his cousin's and his wife know that we would be coming out their way for a couple of days. His cousin offered to pick us up from the airport, and they also offered to let us borrow one of their cars so we get around to our appointments while we were staying in Phoenix. It was nice to be greeted by a familiar face in a new city. He took us to his adorable home in Mesa, and we were able to see their beautiful children. They took me and my husband out to one of their favorite Mexican restaurants for a nice dinner and we were able to spend some time catching up. After giving my husband some directions, we headed back to Phoenix for our hotel. They totally offered to let us stay at their home, but we chose a hotel in downtown Phoenix close to the hospital and the specialists office. Thank you Troy and Shilo! We loved spending time with you and your cute family!
The next morning we needed to be at the hospital by 7:00 am for the MRI. There is a lot of controversy over MRI's for the pudendal nerve. Most doctors feel that this is an unnecessary test for the diagnoses of PNE. The issue is that the pudendal nerve is too small and does not show up on any type of imaging. However, the blood vessel, and the artery that runs along the pudendal nerve, which forms the pudendal bundle, can show up on a MRI. Basically, the MRI is also used to rule out any other underlying issues that may be going on, such as a cyst, or tumor, and any other abnormalities in the pelvic area that can create or cause pain. I had done a lot research about MRI's, I learned the differences between the standard MRI, MRN's, and MRI T3's, there seemed to be more success in getting a better reading of the pudendal bundle using the MRI T3.
When I originally set up my ultrasound at St. Josephs I specifically asked about the MRI equipment. I was directed to the head of the Radiology Department and she assured me that the specialist I was flying in to see used the MRI T3 for his diagnostic test for PNE. When I arrived that morning and met with the technician I had several questions, I'll remind you that I had the last 5 months to prepare for this day, all the waiting had created a very high expectation and I needed to make sure all my concerns would be covered. I had a list of areas in the pelvis that I wanted to go over with her, I asked if the MRI included images of these specific area. She seemed impressed that I knew so much, I explained I had a lot of time to prepare for this. She went through my list and said that everything would be done with the MRI. One last question that I almost hesitated asking, but finally did, "will you be using the MRI T3 today?" She seemed shocked that I would even know the difference, and she explained that the specialist that I would be seeing no longer used the MRI T3 for his testing. She explained he wasn't getting very clear images and the results he needed. I felt very disappointed, after all of the research and phone calls to insure this is what I would be getting, to only find out that now I wasn't, had me thinking "what the heck...why am I even doing this?" Seriously, if I had known this was going to happen, I could have easily had this exact MRI done in Utah anytime. Imagine my disappointment after all my research, phone calls, and distance traveled to only learn that I'd be getting a standard MRI after all. Well, now I am very thankful for following my intuition month's prior and I already had a back-up plan in place. (NY MRI scheduled just in case, more on that later) Two hrs. later, one MRI complete, and now we're off to the physical therapist.
The Physical Therapist was located in Paradise Valley, this was a very pretty area of Phoenix. To date this appointment was one of the best experiences on our journey to finding a solution to my pain. She was very professional, extremely thorough, very soft spoken and calm, and we walked away from that appointment with a lot of new information. We spent two hours with her, she wanted every last detail, she did a physical examination, and offered a lot of suggestions and tips for people in my shoes who suffer with PNE. I couldn't wait to get back home and share all the information that I had learned with my own physical therapist.
One of the things that stands out in my mind about this appointment was her cushion library. There are all sorts of cushions to purchase with cut outs to avoid pressure in certain areas of the in-betweens. The problem is that they tend to be very pricey and a lot of companies will not accept returns on these items. I was very reluctant in purchasing a cushion, for fear that it would offer no relief, and then I would be out the money. She had a small room in her office in which she had purchased several cushions for her patients to check-out, and then you could give them a try in different places, like your car, office. dinning chair, couch, and at work. I felt a little like Goldie Locks, too soft. too hard, but never just right. She said she had some of the top sellers out, so I was unable to give them a try that day, bummer! I thought what a great idea, to try out a cushion before ordering one online. I wish there was something similar here in Utah.
Now we head back to the specialists office at St. Joseph's. We were meeting with his physician assistant that afternoon. We waited a very long time in the waiting room, and after our consultation, we walked away feeling very disappointed. I was assured by the hospital that my MRI results would be available that afternoon for my consultation. They made a quick phone call, but was unsuccessful in getting my MRI report. The PA did not come across as a warm and fuzzy person, she was very short and brief, and lacked compassion and concern. So we head back to our hotel, and hoped that our appointment with the specialist goes much better tomorrow. (We learned the next day that my MRI reading was negative. It was really no surprise, because based on what I had read while researching, this was completely expected as an outcome for the standard MRI imaging)
As I mentioned earlier in this post my husband has two cousins that live in Phoenix. They had arranged for all of us to meet up at a restaurant for dinner that night. We learned even though they lived so close to one another they never made the time to get together. I am happy to say that with our quick trip to Phoenix this was just the ticket to make this long over due reunion happen. We met at an Italian restaurant and had such a great time catching up. After some pictures to prove to their moms that we really did all get together, we headed back to our hotel.
After five very long month's the anticipation was over. Today is Dec. 6th 2011, I was finally going to get the opportunity to speak to someone with the knowledge and expertise of PNE. The doctor was very friendly, but got straight to the point. He explained that I was going to need surgery to fix the pain issue. This surgery is called transgluteal pudendal nerve decompression surgery, it is an open surgery where in order to reach the pudendal nerve which is deep in the pelvis, he would have to cut through a large ligament (the sacrotuberous) in the buttocks area. Since I had issues on both the right and left side, this meant he would need to cut through both sides. This seemed to be a very brutal surgery and after explaining the recovery, which is somewhere around 18-24 months and sometimes even longer, and with a 1 in 3 shot of having a 60% improvement, yes, that is right, the surgery wasn't even guaranteed to be completely successful, I worried how I would be able to do this with 5 young children at home. We also learned even though this specialist accepted my insurance that my insurance does not cover the pudendal nerve decompression surgery. We have Aetna and unfortunately they still consider this surgery experimental and investigational. The surgery would cost us about $50-$60 thousand. OUCH!
This surgery is very delicate work, and before jumping into the surgery the specialist likes to do a round of Botox injections in the pelvic area first to rule out any muscle issues that may be causing the nerve to act up. This would require us to travel back for the procedure, he would do approximately 30-40 injections in the pelvic floor while under anesthesia, followed with a pudendal nerve block so as I'm waking up and recovering the nerve will remain asleep for a few hours. We would then stay one night in the hospital, and then come home the following day. The Botox could take up to two weeks to take effect and would last up to 12 weeks or sometimes longer. Botox does nothing for the nerve, only the muscles surrounding the nerve in the pelvic area. When the nerve becomes irritated the muscles surrounding the nerve become very tight which then puts more pressure on the nerve and causes more pain. The purpose for Botox is to relax or "paralyze" the muscles in the pelvic floor, with the hopes that the nerve could calm down enough for the pain to subside. They told us that most insurances will not cover this procedure, they said they would start the approval process for me and then scheduled me for the 25th of January for this procedure. It would cost us about $4000 total to fly back and have this done if the insurance denied it.
This was hard to process, with physical therapy we had already ruled out that my issue was nerve related and not muscle. Even the PT in Phoenix seemed to think my issue was more nerve and not muscle. I really wish I could just forgo the whole Botox procedure prior to being scheduled for surgery. I was feeling that I was not a good candidate for this procedure based on my history. My thought was, say we come out and basically gamble $4000, there is chance it wouldn't help to relieve the pain, and also a possibility that it would make things worse for a couple of month's. On the other hand let's say it works, we would not be able to afford this type of treatment for long term. So, in a way I felt that if it did work, it would only be for a couple of months and then what? It would feel like a giant trick was being played on me, I couldn't afford to keep up with this type of treatment for a outcome that only offers temporary relief, that's just plain silly if you ask me.
After 5 very long month's of waiting to get into this specialist, my overall thoughts on our flight home was this, I felt a little confused, very overwhelmed, and had several mixed feelings about the new treatment options that were offered to me. First, the thought of another surgery scared me, REALLY scared me! Second, I hadn't read or heard of many people having good results with Botox, I personally wasn't ready to try this approach for pain relief quite yet, especially for the price. On the other hand, the specialist did prescribe a special compounded suppository for me, something that was never introduced to me in Utah. It was a mix of Valium and Baclofen to be inserted right inside the yah yah.
We went to the pharmacy at St. Joseph's to fill this before going to the airport, I only had the pharmacy fill 12 of the 48 prescribed. My insurance does not cover compounded drugs, and I didn't want to pay all of that money on a drug if it didn't work, or if I didn't like the way it made me feel. To this day, biggest mistake I made, I regret not filling the prescription for the full amount. I thought this prescription was expensive in Arizona, had I only known how hard it would be for a doctor to write out a prescription for this in Utah, and the price the pharmacy wanted to charge me here was completely insane, $12 for one.
I somewhat expected to have a bit of an emotional breakdown on the flight home. Seeing that we had waited so long for this appointment and walked away feeling more confused, with even more questions, and also a titch disappointed. But, surprisingly I never did, I was more shocked if anything, shocked that the options offered weren't as simple as I had hoped. Instead my mind was already moving on to plan B in hopes that somewhere out there, there was an easier solution to my issue.
Plan B
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
6 Month Post-op Update
Well friends and family, today is April 9th, and I finally made it to my 6 month mark, HOORAY! At this stage who knows, this could mean I'm half way through my recovery based on my surgeons opinion, or a quarter of the way based on other's experiences with decompression nerve surgery and the opinions of the United States specialists. Either way, it is a mile stone worth celebrating, and the way I look at this is there is still plenty of time for many opportunities of improvement over the next few month's. I'll just remind you that nerves really do take a long time to recover and heal, and even though 6 month's ago I envisioned my six month mark so differently, I am very thankful for the progress that has been made.
I knew when I decided to travel to Turkey for my surgery that there were no guarantees. I also knew this surgery would not cure me of PNE, because as of now there is no cure for this rare nerve condition. But, what I did know was that this particular surgery's success rate was between 60%-85%, and that a 50% improvement in pain reduction was considered a successful surgery. After 20 month of living with excruciating and debilitating pain I new this was my only chance of regaining some type of normalcy. And, even though I knew PNE would more than likely affect me for the rest of my life in one way or another, the thought of having a 50% or more reduction in pain filled my heart with happiness and restored lost hope.
Looking back over the last 6 month's of my recovery, I can honestly say that physically I've had my fair shares of up and downs, but emotionally and spiritually, I've amazingly managed to stay strong and this has been a true blessing during this long and very slow recovery process. It's not easy to see the progress that has been made from day to day, but compared to this time last year, and even compared to the first couple of month's post surgery, I can see and feel the differences.
Today this is where I am in my recovery, my pain levels have significantly come down, most days I hang out in the 4-5 range, sometimes it can creep up to a 7, but not very often, and even better, I've had days where it goes as low as a 3, and I've even experienced a 2 a time or two also! It's been a long time since I've depended on the use of ice, and lately, more days than none I can go my whole day without needing to lay down to relieve the pressure and pain. Keeping the pain levels down is half the battle, so this is a HUGE accomplishment so far. Sitting is still an issue, although, since surgery I can now sit flat rather than tipping up on my hips, which has been a nice improvement. Socially, standing up in a sit down kind of a world is not my idea of fun. I'm limited to 30-60 minutes of sitting and then I'm done, the amount of time really depends on what kind of day I'm having, and what type of seating is available to sit on. My everyday challenges are vacuuming, mopping floors, and grocery shopping. Vacuuming was my favorite chore before PNE, now it's become a difficult task, some days I can get through a couple of rooms, but most days I rarely finish the room I started in. Mopping is impossible, now my kids argue over who's turn it is, and I feel my floors are only as clean as their ability, or willingness to do so. And the shopping, this is no easy task, we are a family of 7 so rarely is a trip to the store for just an item or two, it's always a full basket, and pushing a heavy basket around is really difficult and creates a lot of pain, not to mention the loading and unloading of the cart and the car...extremely exhausting all around! I usually have to bring one of my older children along or I wait until the weekend when my husband can tag along to help. The good news is that when my pain increases due to my activity, it's not long before it settles down. Before surgery once my pain hit high levels it would stick around for the rest of the day, even if I layed down, and sometimes depending on how much I over did it, I found myself dealing with a two or three day flare, but...not anymore! I love that my bad days are more like what my few and far between good days were before surgery, and that is progress worth celebrating.
The most exciting news is...I find myself entertaining new ideas, the main one is the possibility of going to a movie with my family, and even better, just my hubby. I have only been to the movies twice since PNE found it's way into my life, the first time I literally squirmed myself out of my seat because it hurt THAT bad, and watched the movie kneeling on the nasty theater floor...eww! The second time I stood up in the back, and our two year old thought this was the greatest thing ever, he spent his time running up and down the isle between me and my husband...very annoying! With these two attempts of going to the movies I realized that it was not worth my time, it's hard to enjoy a movie while kneeling on your knees or standing in the back all by yourself. I had come to terms with the fact that going to see a movie at the theater was something I would never do again, but now this milestone is seeming more and more obtainable as I improve. All the things that once seemed lost, feels like they're in such close reach, that I'm even more determined to totally kick some PNE butt!
I thought I'd used this post to answer some of the most commonly asked questions since returning home from my journey to Turkey for laparoscopic pudendal nerve decompression surgery. Are you ready? Let's get started!
Do I regret going to Turkey?
This is my most frequently asked question, and my answer is...ABSOLUTELY NOT! If you only knew how many doors this experience has opened for me, then you would understand why I have no regrets. (this is a post all of it's own)
How am I doing, am I better, did it work?
I think this post sums up a lot of these question, but if you're looking for a number, I'd say I've seen about a 25% improvement at this stage in recovery...YAY!
Do I take medication for the pain?
Nope, not anymore. I had terrible side effects on the medications suggested for reducing nerve pain, I have been off all my meds since last June. On occasion I use a valium/baclofen suppository after an intense PT session, but I think I've only used three in the last 4 months that I've been doing PT.
How's my back?
Ha ha...Love this one! Ummm, it's not my back.
Do I stay in contact with the surgeon fromTurkey?
Not so much anymore, he is one of my FB friends, and if I needed anything I'm sure he'd help in any way. He's just that good!
How's my foot and leg?
My motor function is 100% improved. I still have sensation issues with some numbness on the top of my foot, but overall the sensory issue is 90%-95% improved.
What are the things I'll never do again?
This is a loaded question, because really anything is possible. But, even if I make a full recovery and it may seem like I can do anything, there are some sure things that I should avoid as to not re-injure this nerve.
Riding a bike or anything that requires straddling, horse back riding, snow mobiling, wave running, and so on. It's possible that I would not have the opportunity to work full time at a sit down job, this may or may not be too difficult. You see, I guess time will tell, and I really don't know the answer to this question quite yet.
What I do know is that there are worse things I could be dealing with, I feel blessed that this is not a life threatening disease, I do have a choice to live, where some people don't even have that option and are literally fighting for their life everyday to stay alive. I feel blessed that I have the freedom to get up and walk, it might be hard and I may be slow at it now, but if given the choice of never to walk again or never to sit again...I'd definitely take no sitting for sure. I also feel blessed to have such amazing family and friends and for their amazing support during this trying time. I'm in a very good place and I'm still hopeful that good things are to come with some more patience.
Thanks to everyone that has followed along during this journey, for your kind words of encouragement and endless support, it really does mean so much!
I knew when I decided to travel to Turkey for my surgery that there were no guarantees. I also knew this surgery would not cure me of PNE, because as of now there is no cure for this rare nerve condition. But, what I did know was that this particular surgery's success rate was between 60%-85%, and that a 50% improvement in pain reduction was considered a successful surgery. After 20 month of living with excruciating and debilitating pain I new this was my only chance of regaining some type of normalcy. And, even though I knew PNE would more than likely affect me for the rest of my life in one way or another, the thought of having a 50% or more reduction in pain filled my heart with happiness and restored lost hope.
Looking back over the last 6 month's of my recovery, I can honestly say that physically I've had my fair shares of up and downs, but emotionally and spiritually, I've amazingly managed to stay strong and this has been a true blessing during this long and very slow recovery process. It's not easy to see the progress that has been made from day to day, but compared to this time last year, and even compared to the first couple of month's post surgery, I can see and feel the differences.
Today this is where I am in my recovery, my pain levels have significantly come down, most days I hang out in the 4-5 range, sometimes it can creep up to a 7, but not very often, and even better, I've had days where it goes as low as a 3, and I've even experienced a 2 a time or two also! It's been a long time since I've depended on the use of ice, and lately, more days than none I can go my whole day without needing to lay down to relieve the pressure and pain. Keeping the pain levels down is half the battle, so this is a HUGE accomplishment so far. Sitting is still an issue, although, since surgery I can now sit flat rather than tipping up on my hips, which has been a nice improvement. Socially, standing up in a sit down kind of a world is not my idea of fun. I'm limited to 30-60 minutes of sitting and then I'm done, the amount of time really depends on what kind of day I'm having, and what type of seating is available to sit on. My everyday challenges are vacuuming, mopping floors, and grocery shopping. Vacuuming was my favorite chore before PNE, now it's become a difficult task, some days I can get through a couple of rooms, but most days I rarely finish the room I started in. Mopping is impossible, now my kids argue over who's turn it is, and I feel my floors are only as clean as their ability, or willingness to do so. And the shopping, this is no easy task, we are a family of 7 so rarely is a trip to the store for just an item or two, it's always a full basket, and pushing a heavy basket around is really difficult and creates a lot of pain, not to mention the loading and unloading of the cart and the car...extremely exhausting all around! I usually have to bring one of my older children along or I wait until the weekend when my husband can tag along to help. The good news is that when my pain increases due to my activity, it's not long before it settles down. Before surgery once my pain hit high levels it would stick around for the rest of the day, even if I layed down, and sometimes depending on how much I over did it, I found myself dealing with a two or three day flare, but...not anymore! I love that my bad days are more like what my few and far between good days were before surgery, and that is progress worth celebrating.
The most exciting news is...I find myself entertaining new ideas, the main one is the possibility of going to a movie with my family, and even better, just my hubby. I have only been to the movies twice since PNE found it's way into my life, the first time I literally squirmed myself out of my seat because it hurt THAT bad, and watched the movie kneeling on the nasty theater floor...eww! The second time I stood up in the back, and our two year old thought this was the greatest thing ever, he spent his time running up and down the isle between me and my husband...very annoying! With these two attempts of going to the movies I realized that it was not worth my time, it's hard to enjoy a movie while kneeling on your knees or standing in the back all by yourself. I had come to terms with the fact that going to see a movie at the theater was something I would never do again, but now this milestone is seeming more and more obtainable as I improve. All the things that once seemed lost, feels like they're in such close reach, that I'm even more determined to totally kick some PNE butt!
I thought I'd used this post to answer some of the most commonly asked questions since returning home from my journey to Turkey for laparoscopic pudendal nerve decompression surgery. Are you ready? Let's get started!
Do I regret going to Turkey?
This is my most frequently asked question, and my answer is...ABSOLUTELY NOT! If you only knew how many doors this experience has opened for me, then you would understand why I have no regrets. (this is a post all of it's own)
How am I doing, am I better, did it work?
I think this post sums up a lot of these question, but if you're looking for a number, I'd say I've seen about a 25% improvement at this stage in recovery...YAY!
Do I take medication for the pain?
Nope, not anymore. I had terrible side effects on the medications suggested for reducing nerve pain, I have been off all my meds since last June. On occasion I use a valium/baclofen suppository after an intense PT session, but I think I've only used three in the last 4 months that I've been doing PT.
How's my back?
Ha ha...Love this one! Ummm, it's not my back.
Do I stay in contact with the surgeon fromTurkey?
Not so much anymore, he is one of my FB friends, and if I needed anything I'm sure he'd help in any way. He's just that good!
How's my foot and leg?
My motor function is 100% improved. I still have sensation issues with some numbness on the top of my foot, but overall the sensory issue is 90%-95% improved.
What are the things I'll never do again?
This is a loaded question, because really anything is possible. But, even if I make a full recovery and it may seem like I can do anything, there are some sure things that I should avoid as to not re-injure this nerve.
Riding a bike or anything that requires straddling, horse back riding, snow mobiling, wave running, and so on. It's possible that I would not have the opportunity to work full time at a sit down job, this may or may not be too difficult. You see, I guess time will tell, and I really don't know the answer to this question quite yet.
What I do know is that there are worse things I could be dealing with, I feel blessed that this is not a life threatening disease, I do have a choice to live, where some people don't even have that option and are literally fighting for their life everyday to stay alive. I feel blessed that I have the freedom to get up and walk, it might be hard and I may be slow at it now, but if given the choice of never to walk again or never to sit again...I'd definitely take no sitting for sure. I also feel blessed to have such amazing family and friends and for their amazing support during this trying time. I'm in a very good place and I'm still hopeful that good things are to come with some more patience.
Thanks to everyone that has followed along during this journey, for your kind words of encouragement and endless support, it really does mean so much!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Surgery Progress April 5, 2013
Hi everyone, I know it's been a while, in fact March managed to sneak right on by without one update, sooo sorry. In a way this really is a blessing of sorts, March proved to be an amazing month with lower pain days which means I'm up and more involved with my family for the first time in two years. So you see, as thrilled as I am, I just haven't had as much down time which in turn means very little screen time anymore. I'm very excited to share some highlights in March, so let's get started.
I'm still tolerating PT fairly well, and strongly believe it is worth my time and hard work. I was able to start pool therapy and I'm loving this part of PT. It feels so good, it's like stepping into a very warm bath, and after all the manipulation from the regular session it's perfect for stretching and relaxing my muscles. We still do our regular session and then I do a 1/2 hour session in the pool after, all together it's two hours of therapy, but only once a week. I was finally given permission to start working on kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor, this is huge, as most who suffer with this condition know, this is a BIG no, no in the PNE world. Currently we're working on retraining my glutes to fire, I know kinda silly right, but it's my bodies way of protecting the nerve. My hamstrings have literally taken on the task of supporting and moving my core when I move and walk, and over the course of two years my hamstrings tire very easily and become very weak, especially on inclines and stairs. I have also started walking on the treadmill, I'm so pathetically slow, because the motion of walking tends to irritate everything in-between, but I'm hoping with time I will build up speed and distance. It just feel so good to move again, before surgery walking was very difficult, not only did it irritate my in-betweens, but also my pelvic floor muscles would become so tight that my stride would get shorter and shorter until I was stuck and couldn't move one leg in front of the other without experiencing severe pain. My pelvic muscles are much more relaxed now, and when I feel the tightness coming on I can simply lay down and do some stretches to calm everything down. Overall I'm happy that I'm able to start working on strength exercises, it's a good place to be in my recovery.
The best thing about March was that it was a month full of more good days than bad. There were several days that I was completely shocked and pleasantly surprised by my pain levels. I've finally reached a point where I can get through my whole day (most days) without thinking to myself "this really hurts, I just can't do this a second longer, and I really need to go lay down." Good days leave me feeling overwhelmed with a sense of joy, and relieved that things are slowly turning around for me, and during these times I feel so happy I could cry. I'm feeling very grateful, and with everyday that passes I'm gaining new ground, I just feel very content in so many ways, it's unbelievable!
I'm still tolerating PT fairly well, and strongly believe it is worth my time and hard work. I was able to start pool therapy and I'm loving this part of PT. It feels so good, it's like stepping into a very warm bath, and after all the manipulation from the regular session it's perfect for stretching and relaxing my muscles. We still do our regular session and then I do a 1/2 hour session in the pool after, all together it's two hours of therapy, but only once a week. I was finally given permission to start working on kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor, this is huge, as most who suffer with this condition know, this is a BIG no, no in the PNE world. Currently we're working on retraining my glutes to fire, I know kinda silly right, but it's my bodies way of protecting the nerve. My hamstrings have literally taken on the task of supporting and moving my core when I move and walk, and over the course of two years my hamstrings tire very easily and become very weak, especially on inclines and stairs. I have also started walking on the treadmill, I'm so pathetically slow, because the motion of walking tends to irritate everything in-between, but I'm hoping with time I will build up speed and distance. It just feel so good to move again, before surgery walking was very difficult, not only did it irritate my in-betweens, but also my pelvic floor muscles would become so tight that my stride would get shorter and shorter until I was stuck and couldn't move one leg in front of the other without experiencing severe pain. My pelvic muscles are much more relaxed now, and when I feel the tightness coming on I can simply lay down and do some stretches to calm everything down. Overall I'm happy that I'm able to start working on strength exercises, it's a good place to be in my recovery.
The best thing about March was that it was a month full of more good days than bad. There were several days that I was completely shocked and pleasantly surprised by my pain levels. I've finally reached a point where I can get through my whole day (most days) without thinking to myself "this really hurts, I just can't do this a second longer, and I really need to go lay down." Good days leave me feeling overwhelmed with a sense of joy, and relieved that things are slowly turning around for me, and during these times I feel so happy I could cry. I'm feeling very grateful, and with everyday that passes I'm gaining new ground, I just feel very content in so many ways, it's unbelievable!
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